Happy new year to you all.

I've been wanting to update my webpage for some time. It's been one thing after another for the last month or so. No time to do the things I want to do. Well tough titty, it's me-time now; no more chores.

Extending Little Carol's Birthday Week concept, I'm having Birthday Month, a big holiday. Might be more of a horror-day than holiday. 3 weeks for 3 decades. Visiting Singapore, Perth, Melbourne, and Sydney. Hoping to catch up with as many of you as possible in Jan/Feb.

Six months ago, I joined the gym in an effort to get fit for my pending birthday. It's the big one. Dirty thirty. Fffffffffffar out Brussel sprout. Can't believe thirty is a matter of weeks away. My goal was to put on some weight so I might look my age at last. Am sick of being asked for ID when buying booze. Well I've actually lost weight. No Heathrow Injection for this legend. For the first time in a decade, I'm back to 56Kg with a 27in waist. Not exactly helping the "look older" cause though I am well fit. So, it was time for some Musashi protein supplement powder.

Recent Legendary picture (look Petra I'm smiling ...sort of).
I think my face is changing shape around the chin and jaw line it?

Flammable Christmas pudding

Me join a gym? Obviously, hell has frozen over, innit. ...AND training every evening - innit though. The main drawcard was yoga classes which I'd been missing terribly. Sivananda yoga is a bit different from Iyenga. We do lots of sun salutations, followed by shoulder stand, fish, bridge, wheel, dolphin, headstand, and crow etc. The class is quite mixed and I'm one of the strongest. We did peacock once and I was the only one who could do it.

Before Christmas, I deigned to explore Camden Markets for some presents. Not one of my better ideas. Extremely overcrowded. Full of randoms. Stuck out like dogs bollocks. Felt very uncomfortable. Not my bag, obviously.

New year, new job ....for Rod at least. He's now CEO and has upgraded himself from Mr Perfect to Sir Perfect. A well earned title indeed. It will get up Greg's goat - so I can go along with it. Others are yet to concur. When Tessa set the table for Christmas, we all had name cards and my spot was correctly labelled as "The Legend" but, sadly, there was no acknowledgement of Rod's perfection.

Christmas with the Fitz Massive was well good. I spent a couple of days at Sunnymead (Rod and Tessa's joint). Gaggy and the Eves were there too. We all got a bit squiffy on Bucks Fizz champers and played a range of family games. We changed teams regularly so I wouldn't always be on the winning team ...shit out of luck, it didn't work. I guess there's no substitute for legendhood.

Rod, Tessa, Jamie and I attended the C of E Christmas service in the the posh village of Oxshott. Everyone was dressed up ...except us. The C of E service was longer than a Catholic one. I was surprised at the overlap in prayers especially the line in the creed "one catholic and apostolic church". Roxy wanted to come but was unwell. Henry was asleep.

Oh and we didn't have to wait until 9pm for lunch while I wrapped Greg's presents and Greg wrote essays on sticky notes for gift tags happened two years ago. Can't wait to see Greg and the gang in a couple of weeks. Fadz gave me the inside scoop on Greg's Christmas party ...not as good as Rod's obviously.

"We wish you a merry Christmas" from Sunnymead

13 Southwark Bridge Road - where This Life was filmed in the 90s.
My favourite drama ever.

Rod has some incriminating footage of me sweeping up some Domino Specials (dog turds) Greg was there in spirit, being the biggest turd of all.

Had a second Christmas with Hazel's Massive. Michelle and John's new joint in East Grinstead is huge. It's like a kindergarten with toys everywhere. Kerry and Keith gave Hazel and Tony's girls some fancy underwear; Dani was well embarrassed. Of course, somebody didn't need any encouragement to crack jokes about botty floss. Poor Keith and the boys were delegated with the responsibility of buying them. The boys aren't allowed to watch Torchwood after they accidentally saw the couple going for it hammer and tong.

Apparently, Kerry's dog is a leso - he munches carpet. Chrissie has a Jack Russell puppy which she dresses in clothes. Naff. Tracy's cat is still going strong. Can't wait to see my cat again.

There were lots of special festive episodes of my favourite programmes on TV:

  • Vicar of Dibley (last ever episode) - Dawn French at her hilarious best.
  • This Life 10 year reunion - a bit disappointing. Nothing about their (mis)adventures over the last 10 years; only where they are now. Anna is still my favourite character.
  • Little Britain Abroad - more of the same.
  • Dr Who - Catherine Tate as the runaway bride. Nothing special.
Workwise, am still at Sodexho. Longest job so far, Nudging 6 months. We've all lost count of the number of desks we've had. At last count, Dick and Dec had moved least (or should that be Deck and Dic in Kiwi pronunciation??). The temps gang decorated our workstations for Christmas. Fatz hung up some beads that looked like a set of "burra jhola" and some balls above her head that we kept expecting to drop (yes, lots of jokes about "Have your balls dropped yet?" and "I've got balls" ...which Pav would appreciate).

Me, Fatz, Dick, and Nicole sit here (in that order).
Quiet Nathalie has to endure all our noise.

Me at Buck House, on way to meeting Lawrence and Grace
...whom I'll be seeing again in a couple of weeks.

Our group of temps is endangered. Nicole is off to America this week; Dec's finishing next week; I'm off to Aussie the week after; so that leaves Dick and Fatz. We're being replaced by new perms, including Gary. Fatz has caught Gaz unashamedly gawking at her tits and arse. She has a special song for him from the Renault Clio ad: "I see you baby, checking that arrrrrse". And whenever Laura walks past, Fatz sings The Scissors Sisters' "Laura". This phenomena has a special name: Fatima FM. Fatz is titillated with Richard's cheeks and my customary response is "Which ones?" I'm going to miss our little gang.

It's official. Marty is/has a Silly Little Knob ...of the Mercedes SLK variety. He's too paranoid to drive it to work so he bought Jax a Holden Barina (Opel Corsa) which she will never touch. A director driving an automatic 3-door Barina seems rather pedestrian to me. Rod has the right idea with his black Celica.

Until next time, it's tu tar from me.


Last edited: 11 January, 2007